And nine become eight

[This post brought to you by the colour red, to reflect the colour of my face upon reading the final email here]

Anyway, it took eleven emails to get to the point here. And there blows Mondays lunch non-date.

I thought I'd spelled it out quite clearly that I was after friendship and if anything progressed, then whatever. A classic case of Lost in Translation, maybe?

The highlights of (let's call him Takeshi)'s emails. Which just goes to show: take heed of the warning signs:

I'm single JM age 38 lives in Shinjuku ... I'm a professional photographer....
[so far so normal]

I'm usually calm and quiet person
[wasn't sure whether to read this as a good thing or as a euphemism for I have nothing to say for myself, but the rest of his emails did sound okay. possibly one ping though.]

I don't have much free time now but when I' m free I'd like to watch films.I often go to see a night show, coz usually it's not crowded and rate is cheap.
[cheap? oh-oh. one ping.]

I don't drink much,
[ping, ping, ping]

I don't smoke and don't eat red meat since I started Meditation back in 1990
[smoking - good. no red meat? hmmm. i DO love red meat, but okay...meditation? oh-oh.BIG ping, ping,ping]

( chicken is OK so we can go Yakitori-ya if you want )
[generally uber cheap. but hey.... not really a ping]

...If we meet soon and get along each other, we can go country side of Japan by my car.
[sounds nice. unless he's a nutter]

I'm a freelance so I don't usually have a day off regularly but maybe I can adjust my schedule to your day-off
[Wow. This was in about the second email. Potential ping?]

By the way, I'm not married and I don't have any particular girl friend but I'm not looking for a serious relation ship at the moment I like meeting new people and would like to spend fun time with them.
[not married: good. no 'particular girlfriend': possible ping? spending fun time? maybe this should have been the point that 'fun' was defined]

So if you have a day off on Sunday, we can go for a walk and see roses in a park. I know real nice rose garden in Tokyo.
[Quite sweet really, I thought. Or maybe just dull. I couldn't decide]

[Another email....]

...I'm a bit busy right now but I'm going to take some photo of roses on Monday. You can join me if you have a day off on Monday. What do you think ?
[aww bless. that sounds sweet. not that 'sweet' has ever done anything for me before, but hey, it's fun and it's (let's be honest here) all about getting blog stories! as I believe it ain't worth doing if it doesn't give you something to talk about. Or photograph. Or something.]

[Today's email - oh, I passed up on the roses, so we're talking about a different Monday here]

Hi Joe
[It's JO. J.O. J.O. NO 'E'. Only use 'e' if you want to really annoy me]

How are you doing ?
[Great thanks. Well, apart from the period pains and the bad mood and having to go back to work today]

So hot today, isn't it ?
[Yes, it was a lovely day. You're so polite, aren't you? ping?]

Well, I will have a free time on Monday for sure.

So I can meet you in Shinjuku area during lunch time.
[Cool! Should be fun. Sounds like a pretty interesting guy. Okay, I edited out the interesting bits about him. It's called 'writers freedom' or something like that]

BTW, what are you looking for at the moment?
[eh?]

Just a lunch or something else?
[huh? ping. ping.]

If you think that you are looking for a pleasure time with me

We can go to a love hotel that day.

I can give you a sensual oil massage if you want.

And We can have a real nice time in a bubble jet bath

[BLUSH. BLUSH. BLUSH. Please show me at which point meeting for lunch became 'let's go and fuck'?]

I don't usually ask this kind of questions,you know.
[Yeah, right]

but I found your ad on "Women for Men" section
[Yeah, but it wasn't my idea and I - oh bollocks!]

So I don't think you are looking for just a languages exchange friend.
[Oh FFS]

What do you think ?
[Where shall I start?]

Please let me know soon
[No.No. No..... No.]