Do you want to come to church with me?

Big people carrier outside apartment with American woman, man and a whole bundle of smartly dressed sprogs. [An almost unseen sight. The apartment owner, builders, taxis and garbage men are pretty much ALL that pass by and stop with vehicles near us].

Loud American: 'Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.''
Me: 'Er, hi!
Loud American: 'I've not seen you before'
Me: [yes, that's highly likely, why do you think you should have seen me, oh my god, weird foreigner alert, weird foreigner alert]
Me: 'Er, no. What are you doing here? [Are you lost? This conversation is FAR too chirpy for me]
Loud American: 'I'm waiting for Vicky. Do you know Vicky?'
Me: 'No, I don't know 'Vicky'

['Vicky' appears]

Vicky: 'Hiiiiii'
Me: 'Oh, yes, we've said 'hi' a few times!'

Loud American: 'We're going to church. Do you want to come?'
Me: [OMG. What kind of church? Normal church? Mormon church? Cult church? Run Jo, run]
Me: 'I'm sorry, I can't. Byee'.

If you never hear from me again I've been abducted by church-goers in a black people carrier.