Contradictions and confusion

After Golden Week I'll.... has become my stock phrase recently. In the context of:
After Golden Week -
I'll start studying Japanese
I'll start jogging daily
I'll start writing and trying to get articles published
I'll start dating...

I know exactly what I want and also have absolutely no idea what I want. At the same time. It's confusing being me sometimes. My 30s have been the best time of my life and yet as I stroll towards the rather frightening 36 barrier I seem to be forgetting this fact. Maybe it's just easier to equate 30 to 35 with your 20s and 36 with nearing middle age - and that's what's been making it scary. I'm over the initial panic though. For now.

Golden Week was fun. Linda (my friend from England who's been teaching English in Indonesia) came to stay and it was a lot of fun seeing and hanging out with her - even though it was for such a short time. I had to work the first three days but we had three days hanging out after - Harajuku and Yoyogi, Koishikawa-Korakuen and Kagurazaka, onsen. And lots of eating and drinking, of course!

I'll post pictures tomorrow. Not of the onsen!

My computer kept giving me very threatening messages so finally I had a new hard drive installed and more memory and it's all sparkly new and fast and reliable now.

Seeing Linda reminded me of some of the things and people I miss in England. I still don't plan on (ever) moving back to the UK but I'm not really sure where I DO want to spend the future. I guess it doesn't really matter. On the other hand, it made me have a look at flight prices for August for London and to get the shock of my life when I realised the prices were almost exactly double of June prices. So, I'm going to make the trip next month instead. Hopefully!

UPDATE: I did it. I booked my trip to London. Leaving here June 24th (arriving London June 25th) and coming back on July 1st (getting back on July 2nd). EXCITED AND NERVOUS!

Oh and dating / not dating. 100 became 25 became 9. All of whom I intend to meet up with. However, what with birthday and cover days and other commitments it's become just a little complicated and hard to co-ordinate and I'm already finding myself double-booking on top of other prior commitments, etc.

UPDATE: I've kind of arranged four non-dates over a three day period. Trying to fit in the other five somewhere. I'm a little short on time though to meet up with them. May is already a tad busy but want to meet up with them all in next couple of weeks! Interesting game. Watch this space!!!

And finally, a MeMe I knicked from Tim and Liisa (feel free to nick it from me / expect accompanying pictures, sooner or later):

1. PICK OUT A SCAR YOU HAVE, AND EXPLAIN HOW YOU GOT IT.
On one of my fingers I have a scar from a few years ago caused by slicing into my finger when trying to skin a pumpkin to make pumpkin risotto for Sarah and Linda. It hurt. The food was good though.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Straight ahead of me are seven colour sketches of (maybe) Fuji, that I took out of a calendar a couple of years ago. Behind me are three fabric paintings from Vietnam that I really like and bought Xmas before last. On my wardrobe are 16 postcards I bought as a set in Taiwan showing life in an Imperial house or something like that. I also have a few other Japanesey postcards up. In the other room I have another set of pictures from a different calendar - paintings of a kimono'd woman in different seasons.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE.
It's orange. Are you shocked it's not pink? It has a big screen and the front slides upwards. I have three Hello Kitty's hanging from it.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Sometimes none. Other times - pretty much anything depending on my mood, barring drum and bass and dance music.

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
One of the not so bad set pictures that are on my hard drive. As I had a new hard drive installed a couple of days ago I don't have any of my own photos yet. Neither have I got around to downloading anything new. It's on my not so urgent to do list.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Clear skin, to drop (quite) a few kilos, to stop feeling tired, for a miracle fortune to fall into my lap, for a new wardrobe of clothes and for a holiday.


7. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE?
I don't believe in any marriage. But if anyone wants the stress and hassle and the bit of paper - then fine. Good on them.

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
9.50pm I think.

9. ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL TOGETHER?
Ha! No. Not for about 33 years.

10. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
I have no idea. The TV is on. Some Japanese programme is warbling away in the background.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED OF THE DARK?
Nope. Never have. As long as I know where I am.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
I don't allow people to make me cry any more. Well, actually that's a lie. I was blog surfing and someone's blog got me a bit weepy earlier today. That and a movie I watched earlier.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
I don't like any. They make me sneeze.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Any, although blond would be lowest on the list.

15. DO YOU LIKE PAIN KILLERS?
No. I need to be desperate and to have been suffering badly for a long time to take any. Either that or if I have to work and know I'll not survive without them.

16. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Too shy, maybe not. Too unconfident, yes.

17. FAVE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pepperoni. Or pineapple. Or pretty much anything really although I find tuna a bit dry on pizza.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Nothing. I'm not hungry and it's nearly bedtime.

19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
I have no idea. Nobody I hope!

20. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
I don't think so!