Goodbyes

Twenty five days to go. Or rather to going. And whilst I've gone through the full range of emotions from anxiety at not getting a job, realisation and excitement I have been, relief at it all falling into place, and panic and paranoia about, well, everything else really, what I'd avoided thinking about was the friends who I was leaving.

I've been through the whole, nah, won't miss anything here, love London, but it's time for a break and certainly won't miss the rude people, etc, not avoided thinking about my little world more clearly.

I'm in the process of trying to spend quality time with as many people as I can, on a one-on-one (or two) basis, as I know I'll be pretty pissed at my leaving party. Last night I was out with Elaine, and that's when it really hit me in a big way. These are goodbyes that are, effectively, for an indefinite amount of time. That made me really sad and, this morning, pretty teary too.

I've moved on and around many times, but this time feels a bit different. This time there's a lot of people I care about in one place (many of whom I'd like to think of as friends for life) and I'm going to have to restablish myself when I get to Tokyo and go through that getting-to-know you thing time and time over.

New flatmates money still hasn't hit my account, so I'm still feeling slightly anxious about that, even though it's only been a couple of day.

God, I can be a stupid bint sometimes.