2.35am. too late. should be sleeping. saturdays are early starts. too tired. too awake. heard if you can't sleep you should stop trying and do something else. waking for brain to quieten. hoping typing the words will help. or the pill to kick in. something. don't want to take two. not enough sleep hours left. i hate insomnia. it's my on-off constant companion. right now too much going on. a few interviews coming up. yes, a few. had an almost 100% success rate on applications to interviews so far. not many more to wait on just now. need to get my head straight about which is which. and which i want. too much diploma to do. too much work stress. anxiety. last post. anxiety. tomorrow. i'm dreading tomorrow. really dreading it. anxiety. unavoidable anxiety. tiring young child day ahead. and going to feel so exhausted from this weeks anxiety. sigh. and moving. co-ordinating my things to go when i go. and where. and what after. and knowing i'll probably not have the autumn sorted when i leave for the summer. because that's how it goes. and weight. putting on weight. not sure why i'm putting on weight. suddenly noticed. and tired. tired. always tired. need to stop. need to sleep. need to have a clear head. not so much anxiety, worry, stress and shit. sleep deprivation. coffee. sleep deprivation. pill. tired. coffee. endless. endless. endless. shit weather. one day of spring yesterday and it's turned to cack again. energy. low. so low. motivation struggling. house okay. quiet. strange. anal. the house. not me. strange. but quiet. clean. weird. tokyo. exhausting. trains. crowds. predictable students. getting out. can't wait to get out. i need to get out. i've gotten all i can from here. so tired. so much to do. pill kicking in. relaxing. feel myself sinking into my futon. will feel so crap when my alarm goes off. when i face tomorrow. when i face the consequences. and there will be consequences. there will be. and i'm not looking forward to them. no wonder i've slept so badly this week. it's all just too.