Random thoughts, comments, observations and general fluff from a random bint who left London at the end of September 2004 to embark on a new life and new adventures in Tokyo, land of the cute.... and is leaving mid-June 2010 - and counting!

Sunday, May 23, 2010


Today is all about numbers:

39 - the very scary age I just turned. I'm 39. Me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.


5 - the number of teaching days I have left in Japan.

5 - also the number of days until my diploma exam.

19 - the number of days until my diploma course work needs to be in.

27 - the number of days until I leave Japan.

Uncountable - the number of possessions I have to sort out and things I have to do.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Oh My!

I am currently having major second thoughts about 'the place I'm going to after London'.

I'm sure it'll be great. I'm sure I'll have a hell of an experience and will learn much and have much to blog about.

But I'm starting to have nagging doubts. The more I'm researching, the more I'm flicking between excitement and doubt.

It could just be that so much else is going on right now - like being 1.5 weeks away from my exam and a month away from leaving Japan...

But I'm nervous. Really really nervous. I'm determined to see it through but - and this is partly the problem - mid-September is quite far away. Far enough away to look for and find something else. Though I know I shouldn't...


Monday, May 17, 2010


Despite not sleeping much last night, got up early and had a very good study session in Kichijoji. I can't study at home as I play on the computer, nap and a heap of other things.

The sun was shining, the day was warm, I was in flipflops. After a good few hours of productivity, our brains reached overload and we took some cans of drink to the park and hung out for a bit. Caught up with an old friend I'd not seen in a long time, which was super lovely. Listened to music, chatted, drank, relaxed. Headed to a bar for gyoza and booze. Threw around a model airplane. Laughed so hard tears ran down my face.

Went and played pool. A couple more drinks. Did amazingly well at pool. For me. Who really is not a good player. Headed home earlyish. Hot shower. Sleepy. Happy. Nice.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Brain Overload

  • I just remembered my a-z. Had totally forgotten about it.
  • Noticed on Facebook that lots of my mates have birthdays coming up over the next week. Remembered I do too. Next week. Had totally forgotten. Not that it means anything, but still.

  • Time is moving too fast:
  • My diploma written exam is on the 28th.
  • I finish work on the 29th.
  • I have a few days after that until my portfolio deadline.
  • I have a heap of paperwork to do for work detailing all my classes.
  • I need to recertify my BULATS examiner status.
  • I need to sort out my stuff - what's to be sent to England, what's to be given away, what's to be disposed off and what's to pack.
  • I'm leaving on the 18th of June.
  • That is ridiculously scarily soon.
  • I'm nervous about going back to London.
  • I'm even more nervous about where I'm going after London.
  • I'm not exactly having second thoughts about my plans; but I'm hesitating a little. This is why I'm not telling anyone where I'm going. I have my own nerves and doubts and don't need to have to justify my choice right now.
  • I'm nervous I won't live up to the expectation the new jobs have for me.
  • I'm slowly going nuts through lack of sleep.
  • I can't relax.
  • It's all work, study, worry.
  • And more work, study, worry.
  • I can't relax. I have no time to relax. I'm so way past natural energy. It's all about caffeine these days.
  • I struggle to fall asleep. I struggle to stay awake.
  • I want to have less things flying around in my brain. It's relentless right now. And I don't like it much.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Black Magic




Free refills.