Exhausted

A full-time job.
A diploma exam.
Leaving Japan.
A summer job in London.
A two-year contract in x.

There's so much going on in my head right now that I'm exhausted, my sleep is all over the place and... I'm nervous.

It will be understood why the big secrecy about x, but part of it is that I'm 99% sure it's the perfect decision and I'm worried that telling people may fuel the 1% of doubt to increase - if that makes sense. I don't want to justify my decision or have to explain it.

Part of my choice is for pure adventure and something I can't imagine. Part of it is going back to Plan A. Plan B was South America, Plan C was Spain. I'm not sure how many people knew about Plan A. But that's where I'm going if you DO remember that far back. Another part is - well, I've got a big ambition and this goes towards achieving it. Again, you'll figure out what I'm talking about somewhere down the line when I make it more explicit.

And above all. It's a good choice. A reliable choice. A choice that - given I'm not 25 and unlikely to change career - is a wise choice.

But there are so many thoughts racing around my head now and I wish they'd just calm down.

Today's thought was: I probably won't be able to get sashimi. Like, WTF? Of ALL the things I could be concerned about today it's whether I'll survive without raw fish.

I'm daft.