Things can only get better?
Today started really well. I had a very kind invitation, out of the blue, to stay at someone's house in Bangkok when I'm there. It's someone I've not met but have wanted to meet for a while. Coupled with my inability to get my act together this was a lovely gesture.
It's an odd thing: people talk about internet freaks and whilst there's a lot of them [you] out there, there's also a lot of lovely people. From the blogging world, I've met TimorousBeastie and Liisa, but also met up with a lovely blogger who used to blog from Taiwan. The invitation though came from a poster on Thorntree - Lonely Planet's website - through which I've met up with, er, quite a lot of people, in the past: the majority of whom were absolutely lovely. In the UK, I played host at my house to a few and would do so again with no hesitation. It's a nice thing, in my opinion. But, I'm not going to blog about all that right now.
Anyway, the invitation put me in a very good mood. Have I mentioned before that a lot of my Tuesday students are very hard work? Well, today two were absent so that was very nice, and the classes with the others were a lot of fun. Except...
Now, I think I'm a patient and kind teacher and I have a few students that certainly take a lot of both, but they're warm and friendly and it's... nice. Ditto with the kids. Some take a LOT of patience but on the whole the lessons are pretty enjoyable for us all. I think!
Today though I walked out of a lesson in the middle. Now that I've demolished a large can of apple chu-hi, I've stopped worrying about the implications of this. In brief: remember the autistic adult that I've mentioned before? The one who snaps and gets verbally aggressive; the one who can't do small talk and won't be corrected; the one who has lessons with his sister - when she turns up (and she's mostly late and absent).
Anyway, today my patience was pushed to it's absolute limit. I ignored the first few snappings and felt progressively more and more nervous by this student. I know he has autism, but I don't know if he has any other problems: problems that could make him physically lash out one day. I am NOT a special needs teacher and think it's pretty pissy that I've been put in this position anyway. So, I walked out and explained to the receptionist that he'd made me feel afraid for my safety. She spoke to her boss who said I should go back in and continue the lesson. [er, did you not understand the reason why I walked out?]
Finally, I offered to take him back in for the last 15 minutes, to make the school happy, but luckily he wasn't having it by then and walked out.
Now - I should NOT be worried by my behaviour. I did what any teacher SHOULD do if they feel threatened by a student, surely? So, why did I feel so nervous about the implications of my action? I need to build a thicker skin I think. At least walking out was the mature and sensible thing, in my opinion. I emailed receptionist's boss and she seemed cool enough when I explained again. I also phoned one of the bosses in the company, and they also couldn't see any reason why I should be worried about what I did.
So, why am I nervous about what'll come of this tomorrow?