Students say..

... the weirdest things some times:

These are from the last day and a half:

Pre-intermediate level. Topic - camping. We've ascertained, from the text book, that people take things like a cooking stove, sleeping bag, anorak, insect repellent, water, woolly socks, etc camping with them.

me: okay, so what other things would you take camping?
student: rice.
other student: [killed herself laughing before looking at first student like she was mad and suggesting maybe a general 'food' answer would be more appropriate.]

Elementary level. Topic - things you should and shouldn't do for various ailments and injuries. Point - a sore back:

student: you should drink water.

I let that one slip by. Next point a broken leg:

student: you should drink water.

At which point I burst into giggles of despair. She told me when she injured her arm her doctor told her to drink water. I continued laughing. There was no other comment I could make. PLEASE may I never again need a Japanese doctor.

Oh, and this was the same student who came in today telling me she had a cock. After a few times, I corrected her. (couGH)

Intermediate level. Topic - my holiday:

Student: [please note this is the first thing the student says after asking me if I had a good time in Vietnam and me saying 'amazing'] - Is it dirty?
Me: [in despair] EVERYWHERE is dirty compared to Japan.
Student: really?
Me: yes.

Foundation level. Topic - students birthday:

Me: do you have something special planned for your birthday? Party? Drinking?
Student: shopping.

And sometimes I wonder why I'm considering leaving Japan.

Although, I do have some cute and amusing moments most days too.

I teach an 18 year old boy and his mother last thing on a Thursday and have done since day one. I have to admit they are among my favourite students mainly because we laugh a lot and the lesson is fun with them. They are extremely predictable and haven't surprised me once with anything they have said in 15 months. Today we were discussing smoking. (Legal smoking age in Japan is 20).

I asked them if they smoked. They both said no. I asked the mother if she had ever smoked. She said never. I asked the son if he had ever smoked. He said almost never. It was great fun watching him realise his mistake and trying to correct himself. (The mother and I occasionally gang up on the son). I wonder if it'll be brought up again between them!